Can you imagine how you feel when you know that someone you love doesn't include you as his/her priority in his/her life, while in the other hand you really i mean really really adore him/her and want to do everything for him/her ??
Disappointed???
Sad???
Mad???
Crazy???
Do you feel those feelings???
I do....
My heart says that this is unfair for me, how come you can treat me like that?? While i'm treating you as a king (oke maybe this is too much :p). The point is, he doesn't treat me like the way i treat him. And i feel disappointed. And suddenly i remember a proverb saying that "Do not expect on people or you can only get disappointed, the only place you can expect is GOD".
BUT, after i heard his reasons, yaah i understand that maybe i was wrong, but it doesn't mean that he's right, maybe i love him too much and i want him so much. This is not good for me nor for him, and i should change my mind, my perspective, even my feelings. Yes i cried, i cried, and i cried, but he had opened my mind that "cintailah orang yang kamu cintai sewajarnya karena sewaktu-waktu orang yang kamu cintai itu bisa jadi orang yang kamu benci, dan bencilah orang yang kamu benci sewajarnya, karena sewaktu-waktu orang yang kamu benci itu bisa jadi orang yang harus kamu cintai" (setidaknya begitu bunyinya). Eventhough those words are right, deep in my heart, i want him to give a concern to me, to be romantic, to understand what i want, to understand how i want to be treated, etc, etc, etc. Maybe i should be patient to face him and to accept all of his characters.
After all, the sweetest thing that he told me is "i can't make you as my top priority for this time, i treat you, my friends, and my family proporsionally, but when the right time comes i'll make my family, my wife, and my children as my top priority in my life", oooowww isn't that sweet? or it's just me? Well, eventhough i still don't know whether i will be his wife, but i think that is sweet.
And i hope it will be sweet for us when the right time comes.... Absolutely in HIS way, He knows the best for us.. Amen...
